As many of you saw, I am expecting my first child! It’s hard to stay focused on my everyday tasks when my mind wants to dream up what this little one will be like! My husband is a redhead and so, naturally, I pray that gene to be passed on. (Who doesn’t love a little “Ron Howard” boy!). But, maybe you can relate, moms, I have thought about a question most first-timers do….”Will my baby be cute??” No, seriously. I really want an over-the-top adorable baby! And what is the usual response to that question? A mother always thinks her baby is the most adorable. Right? Ok, where am I going with this? I wanted to talk about the idea of beauty, what it is, who has the right to think it and where does it come from? Is beauty really only in the eye of the beholder?
Your jobs revolve around your beauty. You are constantly being critiqued by each other, by the people who come in and, the harshest critic, yourself. You aren’t different from any other woman in the world. We all worry, think or stress over our “beauty”, however, I give you gals so much credit since you deal with it to a higher degree. One girl I talked to tonight, said, when I asked her about the business and what makes a good night said, “Sometimes the men just don’t like you”. Then, you also have your regulars who only want you. Beauty and the beholder. But is that really true in all areas of life?
The dictionary defines beauty as being “the combination of all the qualities of a person or thing that delight the senses and please the mind”, which can be very subjective, but let’s think on this further. Is there beauty we all agree on? I think so. I have never known a person that would call a good, over-looking –the-ocean-sunset ugly. Or see a field of flowers and be disgusted. And how about the sky at night, with a million stars or the Northern Lights? There is such a thing as beauty for every beholder.
I never had a good view of myself which is why at 15 it was so easy for me to fall into a long, unhealthy relationship. For the first time a man was calling me beautiful. I disregarded that his idea of beauty was only as connected to me as I was “loose” with him. I just wanted to hear him say it to me. What I was once dying for, to be beautiful to someone else, was suppose to be fulfilled here, yet, it only made me feel more empty. This man had the ability to train my heart to think that I was not beautiful to anyone except him and therefore I was trapped. When he eventually replaced me and the relationship ended, I was devastated. It wasn’t until, during my new search for beauty, I learned that there is beauty beyond the beholder. Yes, there is the subjective, but beauty goes so much deeper!
When I was “re-introduced” to Christianity at 19, it wasn’t the cross or redemption that first grabbed my attention (And I say re-introduced because I grew up in the church), but what God had to say about beauty, His beauty and how He viewed me. I was so broken and felt as if I deserved no one. Furthermore, my view of love was almost irreparable. The man I had loved changed his mind so easily that I thought love was something that could be taken away at any moment by anyone, including God. Sheldon Vanhauken, one of my favorite authors had a similar experience with Christianity and says it much better than I could: “A creator seemed necessary, a creator with an immense intelligence embracing order. Apart from reason, the one quality that we attributed to this creative power was awareness of beauty. Everything in nature, in creation, was beautiful, except where marred by man. So there was a power-a god-of beauty with a high and inscrutable purpose quite unknowable to man except for such inklings as might come through the contemplation of beauty. Beauty was somehow at the very centre of meaning.”
I titled this blog as Beauty and the Beholder and the capitalization of Beholder was because I attribute that title to the Lord. Beyond the subjective, your own thoughts and those everyone around tries to tell you about yourself, you are beautiful . God thinks you’re beautiful and what I love most about that is that He does it without any expectations. There is no clause that you must be perfect, without out any sin or become a “Jesus-freak” to earn that beauty title, but you just are. He isn’t a boss. He isn’t like your never-satisfied-father, or your ex-boyfriend. You are beautiful because He is beautiful and nothing that God creates can be anything less. Not the sky, sea, or that perfect flower. Because of God, our beauty transcended this world. I was captivated with God and no longer held down by man’s views. All that mattered to me was that God, the Creator, saw me and called be Beautiful. It took me MANY years to work through all the baggage I brought with me, but God was patient.
One of my favorite verses of the Bible (and I want you to read this as if it was written just for you, because it was) says, “I, the Lord saw you struggling…I said to you, Live! I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured and became beautiful.” The chapter goes on to explain all that God did, making this woman into a queen, His queen. He then says, “And your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you, says the Lord God.”
Perfect through His splendor. That is was drew me to Christianity and once I saw the beauty God “bestowed” to me, I started to see the beauty in everything else: the beauty of the Cross and the love story of the Bible. We don’t go into the clubs to hit you with our beliefs or our “religion”. I hope you, more than ever, get from me the understanding that I believe you are beautiful and there is nothing I’m asking in return for that nor is it based on the external, but because you are. Simple. Love is what you can give another, not what you get. The best love is sacrificial and you moms can attest to that! You are giving all day long for your children and it isn’t based on how good or how many hugs you get, but because you love. And in an industry that demands so many returns, we hope to be fresh air and listening ears. We will look you in the eye, talk to you like a long time friend and encourage you when you’re down. We know you’re in an industry that demands so many returns and we hope to be fresh air and listening ears.
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