Life hurts...

This past week something very tragic happened. A man went inside a strip club and started shooting. He killed two people and wounded two others, including a dancer. Patrons eventually wrestled the gunman to the floor. As I read the news articles about it, I was reminded of the pain related to a similar shooting that happened to my family on April 19, 2000. A gunman walked into a crowded home owners association meeting in Sun City and opened gun fire. His intention was to kill as many people as possible. He never intended to walk out alive. That became apparent with the suicide note that was in his shirt pocket. And just like the shooting at the strip club, he was wrestled to the floor and overtaken by others. He killed two, and wounded six others in the seconds that he shot freely in the air. My parents were both at the meeting that day. My mom lost her life from one of his bullets. They were 4 months away from their 50 wedding anniversary. After reading about what had happened at these two strip clubs recently, I was once again reminded of that day. I understand the emotions that the gals that work at the club must be going through right now. I also know the deep sense of sadness and grief that comes from losing a loved one in such a senseless and cruel manner.

Whenever a person experiences this kind of trauma, they begin to realize how much of our lives are focused on trivial things. That happened to me. I discovered that all that mattered boiled down to a few basic questions. Who do I love? Who will miss me? What have I done in my life? Am I ready for what’s next if my life is over suddenly? Ever since that day, I’ve tried to live with those questions more at the forefront.

As I reflected on my life during the difficult days that followed our shooting, I concluded three things:

First, I know that there is good in the world. Though overwhelmed with sorrow just now, you will learn to laugh again, to play again, to love again. You will learn to walk into a crowded room without fear and without trying to figure out where all the exits are, just in case you need to run for your life. Yes, the world can be good.

Secondly, I know too that the world is fallen. You understand that truth after you walk through the aftermath of a senseless crime. The shootings show what humanity on its own can produce.

Thirdly, as a Christ follower, I trust that the world will be redeemed. This is not the world God wants or is satisfied with. God has promised a time when evil will be defeated, when events like these shootings will cease. Even more, God has promised that even the scars we accumulate on this fallen planet will be redeemed. It’s because He loves us more than we could ever imagine, and He wants a relationship with us.

Someone once said, that “nothing irredeemable has happened or can happen to us on our way to our destiny in God’s full world.” Did you get that? Nothing is irredeemable. I would like to promise you an end to your pain and grief, a guarantee that you will never again hurt as you hurt now. I can’t make that promise. I can, however, stand behind the promise made in Romans 8, that “all things can work together for our good.” Terrible things will happen to us and around us, yet we have access to a “peace that passes understanding” that can calm both our hearts and minds in the midst of tragedy. God’s love for us is true and real, and I pray that you do not let your grief or fear obscure that fact.

If you are reading this, it’s because you took the time to check out who we are. Maybe you would love to talk to someone about what you’re feeling after this tragedy. We would love to talk with you over coffee sometime. We are friends that care about you. We are friends that are there for you. We are friends that would love to listen to where your heart is at…and friends who would love to pray with you. We get what you’re going through….

Joyce, Brianne, Heidi, Morgan, Cathy

Merry Christmas!!

We went out on the 10th and delivered the gift baskets above loaded with all kinds of tasty Christmas treats!  We also gave out copies of Harmony Dust's book Scars and Stilettos at some of the clubs.  It was a great night loaded with hugs, smiles, and plenty of Christmas cheer.  Looking forward to next month!

Dear Friend

 Dear friend,

Did you know that you are loved and valued; that you are a child of God, and that He created you for a purpose?

This life can be hard sometimes.  Work can be difficult, bad things happen to good people, and the people we love will let us down.  We search for answers and sometimes feel hopeless. 

Know that God has a plan for you, friend.  Know that even in your darkest hour that you are not alone; that God loves you, and that your life matters.

ASHA exists for the purpose of supporting you in your life journey, and to encourage you in any way that would be helpful for you.  Let us know if there is anything we can do to help. 

 Love,

Joyce, Cathy, Heidi, Morgan and Brianne

Harmony

 Have you ever heard of Harmony Dust?  She is a beautifully and awe inspiring person and writer.  She knows first hand what it is like to take off your clothes for unappreciative men, and to feel completely empty and lost inside.  Read her story below of how she transformed her world.
 
I met him when I was 11. Somewhere along the way, he became the center of my world. My life belonged to him. I had given it to him.
 
At first, I felt safe when I was with him. As though he could protect me from some unseen harm. He gave me the disapproving look of a father when I lost my virginity at 14. I can picture him in my living room the day after it happened, head hung low as if something precious had slipped away. I felt cared for.

He was always there: through the rapes, heartbreaks, and my parent’s divorce. Steady and constant.
I never intended to begin a relationship with him, I never saw him in that way. Then one night, I wagered my body in a game of cards. I lost. We had sex.

I thought it was casual and meaningless, but on that night, everything changed. The tables turned. Something took form deep inside of me: a suction, a knot, a tie. He began to consume my thoughts in much the same way that the boy I lost my virginity to had. I started wondering where he was and when he was coming home. The familiar fear of loss took over me and I pursued him wildly.

The fear of losing him had its grip on me. I thought that making him financially dependent on me was the only way I could make him stay. I couldn’t bear to be abandoned again.

By the age of 15, I was giving him all of what little money I had. By 17, I was stealing money from the cash register at work to fully support him.

No matter how much I gave him, it was never enough. I was never enough and I felt undeserving of love. He constantly validated my feelings of worthlessness with emotional and physical abuse.
Throughout most of the time we were together he was unemployed. I silently encouraged his lack of willingness to work by taking it all on myself. At 19 years old, I was over $35,000 in debt. I was losing control. Young, naïve, and hopeless, I began stripping. My intention was to work for a couple of months in order to pay off my bills. Then I could return to a “normal” life. I found myself trapped in the lifestyle.

Wads of cash filled my hands, but nothing seemed to satisfy the void in my heart. In essence, my boyfriend became my pimp. Every night, I came home and gave him all of my money. I had convinced myself that I didn’t deserve it anyway and I figured that the more dependent on me he was, the less likely he would be to leave me. Whenever I did try to put aside money so that I could quit dancing, “something” always came up and I would give him all of my savings. During one “emergency”, the nature of which he never told me, I handed him more than $10,000 in cash.

The idea of having a normal life seemed further and further away. At first, I led a double life; I was a quiet, conservative college student by day, and someone else’s fantasy by night. Gradually, I began to lose sight of who I was, and became lost in make-up, stilettos, and the glare of stage lights. I felt fragmented and compartmentalized. The fear of rejection and judgment kept me isolated from the outside world, until all of the people I had contact with were other strippers, costumers, and my abusive boyfriend. The isolation made it easier for him to control me. He dictated my every move.
To no avail, I did everything I could to please him. He constantly slept with other girls and eventually ended up getting one of them pregnant. One day I went into our bedroom closet and found another woman’s clothing. That is how I found out that he moved his pregnant girlfriend into our home.
I would lay awake at night on the couch, straining to hear what went on behind the closed door of what used to be our bedroom. The muffled sounds of laughter broke my heart, but the silence hurt even more as I envisioned her lying in his arms. There seemed to be no limit to what I would tolerate in order to keep him from leaving me.

The emptiness I felt inside seemed infinate and my self-image continued to decline. Over the course of the next 3 years, being a stripper became my identity. My already tainted view of men seemed permanently damaged. I developed the notion that all men were inherently perverted and sick. I began to use stripping as a way to take back control of my sexuality. I finally felt like I had the upper hand. I learned to exploit for myself, the very thing that men had already exploited…my body.
My view of the world was tarnished. I couldn’t go anywhere without thinking that people saw me in a sexual way. I felt reduced to an object and in “real life”, I tried to hide behind baggy clothes and glasses. All of my efforts and energy were put into trying to make my abusive, dysfunctional relationship work. I thought that my life and existence was hopeless and that the relationship was the only salvageable thing left. In my search for one good and pure thing, I clung onto my boyfriend with all of my strength and sacrificed my dignity to keep him in my life. All of my adoration, love and worship were focused on a person who was too selfish to ever really love me.

In retrospect, I can see that God’s heart was deeply pained by my brokenness. He wanted nothing more that to extend his hand to me and show me my beauty and worth—to help me see the value I never saw in myself.

Like a gentleman, He pursued me with his infinite love until he captured my heart. I finally met a Lover who would never leave me—the only One who could satisfy my needs. He took the hollow and empty pit inside me that had been carved out by a lifetime of disappointment and despair, and He filled it with hope, love, and purpose.

The journey since has not always been easy and I have made mistakes along the way, but I have discovered that the pain of staying the same is far greater than the pain of change. My frantic search for a man’s love to complete me is over. I am not perfect, but I am whole and I am free.

Precious woman, I promise you…there is hope. You are not alone. Your One True Love is calling your name.

Love,
Harmony

P.S. You can read more about Harmony Dust and her ministry HERE.

Cupcakes and S-bux Frapps

Hey everyone... forgive this terrible photo taken on my phone... but check it out:

That is the back of Joyce's car jam-packed with gifts of encouragement and love in the form of fall beverage packets, Sbux Frappuchinos, and tasty cupcakes!

100-some gift bags were given to dancers throughout the valley last night and we had a blast doing it!  It's so fun to give a gift and smile to someone who doesn't expect it.  If you were one of the dancers we met last night, you are loved!  We hope the gift brightened up your night even just a little bit.  Feel free to contact us anytime if you feel lonely or just want to talk!

Alone

This beautifully written poem was written by a young woman named Dawn who has recently come to know God and is searching for answers as she faces her struggles. 

ALONE

I stand in a crowded room but feel so alone
The music is blaring but I just feel the tone
I strut around the stage to catch someone’s eye
but when he comes to the stage inside a part of me dies.
It’s like a pick and I'm being chiseled away,
but if I don’t do it, the rent won’t be paid.
I dance for him for a dollar or two, but when
I'm done I think, what did I just do?
I climb the pole to the top, I lay back, close my eyes
and think to myself, God, this has to stop!
When I am done I go around for my tips, but it’s so hard
to force the words to  come out of my lips.
When I’m done I go on my way, I go to the dressing room
and with Lila I pray.
"God take this crooked path and make it straight.
 I know you have a plan for me and Lord God I know it’s great!
I hate what I'm doing with all of my heart
but when I can’t do for my kids it tears me apart!
Lord please give me some direction, make my life complete
even if you can only talk to me while I'm asleep. 
I need you Lord God I can’t do this alone.
Please come to me, my life, my heart, and my home.
I need you Lord God, so bad its true. 
I’m sick of feeling alone when I know
all I need is you!”

Taken from the e-mail on Nov. 1st, 2010 of the Treasures mailing list.

Gifts, Gifts, & More Gifts!

We had a great time last night dropping off 115 bags in the Phoenix area!  We received many hugs, stopped by a couple new clubs, and enjoyed gifting lipsticks, mascara, eyeshadows, candy, and some very fun and festive popcorn balls made by some fabulous ladies at Bethany Bible Church!  It's so fun to just love on these girls and give out free fun stuff.  If you were one of the ladies that received a gift last night, know that we care and just want to help you in any way we can.  You are loved!

Love is Already There

I read this blog post today from a young lady named Crissy who used to be in the adult film industry.  She is a wonderful writer and I thought I would share this beautiful, heartfelt post of hers about struggling to accept God's love.

You can read the rest of Crissy's story here.

Love is Already There

Her heart will not heal.  She feels like it just stays in a broken state.  Her heart is stronger than it was before but still wide open, unafraid and very vulnerable.  She wonders if maybe He just won’t allow it heal.  Perhaps, only one love can ever fill that void. She seems to understand this but still she keeps running away.

She feels He is fighting for her.  Perhaps He is guarding her from more self-destruction and heartache.  She seems to feel protected from her vice, the one she always chooses, love.  He won’t allow anyone else try to heal her.  It’s His job.  She still searches for the fairytale she read in a book.  A fairytale she still believes can happen to a girl like her.  She seeks a love that doesn’t ever go away.

Her emotions are like a roller coaster just the way He made her.  They are so intense and hard to hold back.  She keeps searching and hoping to find her love.  People tell her when you stop looking is when you’ll find it.  She needs a peaceful heart.  She needs the kind of heart that is everything that her mind has determined she’s not.  Life has never been peaceful for her.

The harder she seeks love, the more she feels Him pursuing her.  It frightens her because no one else has ever pursued her.  When no one else is around He comes to her.  He turns her crying face towards Him, wipes all her tears away and tells her how much He loves her.  He calls her His beloved daughter and rocks her to sleep in His arms.  She has peace through the night…

…then the next day she runs again.

She doesn’t know how to accept that His love for her is immeasurable and given to her freely.   In her inconsistent life it doesn’t seem possible that there is a love that never goes away.  Life for her has been drifting from one embrace into another leaving her feeling more defiled.  She sought love from the entire empty world.  She loves Him so much but realizes she also has to accept His love.

She sits in church holding back the tears on Sunday.  She spent the night before seeking admiration and approval in the world. Even though she loves Him she still can’t grasp how He can love a woman like her.  God loved her enough to send His one and only Son to the earth to die and save her from her sins.  He also washed her clean.  She is a new creation.  No matter what anyone thinks of her He adores her.  She is His beloved daughter.  He is not a fairytale but even greater,  the author and inspiration of the greatest love story ever!  He is LOVE in it’s purest form.  She just needs to slow down and take a breath. God’s gift comes without a price.  She needs to accept His love as her main “love source”…

…and stop running.

More alive than ever...

A friend of mine recently shared how she spent a great deal of her life living far from God. Over time she realized that her way of life wasn’t working…at all. Feeling she needed more information about God before she would commit to him, she started asking me questions and trying to figure out her life. She knew the beginning point would be understanding who God is and what Jesus Christ did for her. She needed answers, and wasn’t even sure what the right questions were? It wasn't long before she realized that she had commitment issues. She had never actually surrendered her life to God, because she knew that if Jesus has been raised from the dead, that fact changes everything. Jesus was more than just a good man…He was the Son of God.

My friend decided she wanted to confess her sin and receive God’s forgiveness and start a new life. But she wanted this change to be really clear. Here is what she did: she said, "God, I want you to know that I'm leaving my old life behind. I'm leaving behind my old sin. I want to be forgiven. I want to be your child. I want Jesus to be my forgiver and my friend and my leader."

My friend made a very important life decision. She felt so many times like she was drowning. She felt like there was no end to the problems and difficulties in her life. She felt like she couldn’t keep her head above water.

Author John Ortberg writes: “Years ago, while on vacation, we were staying at a hotel with a swimming pool. Our two daughters, Laura and Mallory, were five- and three-years-old at the time. I was standing in the pool, and they were taking turns jumping to me. I had to warn them both, "Do not run around the pool. If you run, you could slip and fall into the water, and if you do that, you might drown. That would be really bad. I don't want you to drown." Apparently these warnings were scarier than I had intended. At one point, while Laura was jumping into the pool to have me catch her, Mallory slipped and fell into the water. She went all the way down to the bottom for just a second or two before I reached in and pull her right back to the top. When I pulled her out of the water, she was sobbing. She looked up at me with these big brown eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy! I drowned! I drowned! I drowned!" I said, "No, Mallory, you didn't drown at all. That is not drowning. You didn't even come close to drowning! You weren't even within a mile of drowning. So let's not tell Mommy about this. Mommy probably wouldn't understand what I know, which is that your father was watching you the whole time, and in the moment that you slipped under that surface that was so scary for you, my arms were right there with you, and they were plenty strong enough to pull you up out of that water. You were perfectly safe, more alive than ever."

More alive than ever!!! Isn’t that what we all want? Jesus died on a cross for you and I, and rose from the grave three days later, defeating death once and for all. The story of the resurrection is not just good news; it's true news. And when Jesus says, "Whoever lives and believes in me will never die," that is not a metaphor or some vague hope. It means that death has no power to take us from the arms of the Father. We are more alive than ever! Guilt cannot separate us from God. Nothing can! Whatever we have in our past cannot separate us from His love.

Are you scared? Devastated? Frightened? Lonely? Depressed? Burdened? Guilt-ridden? Anxious? Tired? Given up hope? Whatever your circumstance, you can turn to Jesus and give it all to Him. He will give you rest. His arms are plenty strong. They have not lost any of their power, and they will pick you up. ~ cathy

Good Times!

We Asha Girls had a fantastic time out on the town in Phoenix tonight. We got to deliver about 50 gift bags to girls in about 4 clubs. It is such a blessing to be able to bring a little ray of happiness to these gals on a Friday night. Who can turn down free gift bags with girly stuff in them (cosmetics, jewelry, chocolate, etc...)? Because we have friends who used to be in the industry, we understand that encouragement and just showing up to say we care goes a long way. And we do care. So here's to a great night out and we hope the 50 girls that got those bags will smile and enjoy a little something to pamper them a bit tonight. Looking forward to heading out next month as well!

Encouragement for us all...

Do you know

do you understand

that you represent Jesus to me?

Do you know

do you understand

that when you treat me with gentleness,

it raises the question in my mind

that maybe He is gentle, too.

Maybe he isn't someone

who laughs when I am hurt.

Do you know

do you understand

that when you listen to my questions

and you don't laugh,

I think, "What if Jesus is interested in me, too?"

Do you know

do you understand

that when I hear you talk about arguments

and conflict and scars from your past,

I think, " Maybe I am just a regular person

instead of a bad, no good little girl

who deserves abuse."

If you care,

I think maybe He cares -

and then there's this flame of hope

that burns inside of me

and for awhile I am afraid to breathe

because it might go out.

Do you know

do you understand

that your words are His words?

Your face is His face

to someone like me?

Please, be who you say you are.

Please, God, don't let this be another trick.

Please let this be real.

Please!

Do you know

do you understand

that you represent

Jesus to me?

~ taken from "The Unexpected Adventure" by Lee Strobel and Mark Middelberg